The Guillemot — the TIE Fighter of ocean birds

The pair of black specks race screech past in a blur of black, white, and red. The Black Guillemot is the TIE fighter of the aquatic birding world.¹ Or, in my best tour guide sing-songy voice:

“Those are Guillemots — about the size of a Nerf football, has a white dot on its side, and bright red feet.”

I can’t say I was imaginative when it came to my wildlife descriptions as a kayak guide, but it worked out. No one goes on a kayak tour to see a Guillemot. Everyone waited for the porpoise, seal, or the ever-elusive whale. By comparison, a Nerf football just is not that interesting. So when I tossed on my amateur birder hat to run down my checklist of facts about the Guillemot, I doubt anyone listened.

Like the more ostentatious cormorants that dry their wings on buoys in a bat-like pose, the Guillemots are diving birds. They are members of the Auk family and can dive hundreds of feet under the surface in search of a meal. Not your average Nerf football.

But, the feet. Guillemots possess stunning red feet. This defining characteristic reminded me of TIE Fighters as the birds screeched (quite literally²) over the water in front of my kayak.

These characteristic zigs and zags may have been mating behavior or just run of the mill “bird leaves its nest in the cliff and decides schizophrenic flight path optimizes for arrival at intended water landing.” Either way, it was annoying. Annoying in the way TIE fighters are to the Millenium Falcon. No serious threat, just little buggers that make a lot of noise and are goofy to look at.

And not surprisingly, when I was sick of guiding or tired of the same tourist banter, it was always easier to imagine myself in the cockpit of the Millenium Falcon fending off the red-footed Darkside. This fantasy was not hard to slip into. I was in a solo kayak after all.

May the Fourth be with you.

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[1] Andy, happy birthday, and also happy Star Wars day. I doubt you care about Star Wars, but since you are a budding ornithologist and your birthday is one of nerd lore, may the fourth be with you. Also, for anyone else not named Andy, at this point in the 30-day writing challenge (almost halfway), almost anything qualifies as a daily post. Hence the following half 3rd-grade biology report half Star Wars analogy.

[2] It was a seriously nasally sound. Not pleasant.